Now When Everything Has Changed
by danceDANCEdance
Summary: A moment from after everything went wrong. Al always seems so forgiving, but, maybe, just for a moment he only felt....


**Now When Everything Has Changed**

By: Keph

Ed wasn't awake yet.

Al watched, almost in fascination, as his chest rose, shivered at the crest, then slowly, purposefully lowered once again. Al had scarcely looked up. He hadn't noticed Winry standing in the doorway, her eyes soft as they settled on Ed, and wide as they settled on the glinting bulk that was now Al's back.

"Al..." she had began, but her voice had faded, muffled. _She's crying_, Al thought as though from far away, _she's crying for us_.

Did they deserve such tears?

Ed took another breath. The sheet rose, descended. The boy shivered and Al suddenly realized that the windows had been left flung open. He noticed flowers in a vase moving and some papers beneath a spare pair of Pinako's glasses rustle. It was a night wind. This time of year they were usually quite chilly.

Al hadn't felt a thing.

He stood suddenly and hurried to the window, closed it, but got no further. He had been trying to work the latch, that tiny silver lock on the window that he had locked without looking the last time Ed and Al had been living with Winry and Pinako. "Hurry up, Al!" Ed had called then as he caught an essay on human alchemy from blowing out the window.

Now, as Al's hand tried again and again, it was this voice, his brother's voice, which now echoed in his head, speaking such an inane command from a year ago. _Hurry, Al! _But, as much as Al tried, as his pace quickened in frustration, the more he fumbled.

At last he stopped, realizing that someone was saying his name.

"Brother..." Al breathed, but didn't turn.

When had Ed woken? Al couldn't say. And his voice...it was so weak. It sounded horse. It would be horse, Al reasoned. How they had both screamed as the array glowed and everything went wrong.

"You should sleep, Brother." Al said in a voice perfectly clear.

"Al...You..." The voice suddenly caught, a faint whisper of pain.

_Turn_, Al commanded himself, _Brother is in pain. Tell him to lay down. Tell him it is alright_.

But Al didn't turn.

Not yet.

Outside the window was the moon. Full and huge it hung in the sky, soft and peaceful. Beneath that moon sprawled Rizenbul. Al shifted his gaze. There. There was their house. It seemed so quiet now.

Was this a dream?

Is that what this was?

Such a terrible dream.

Is that why he couldn't feel the wind?

Is that why behind him his brother called his name again, this time with an edge of desperation.

**_Turn_**, he screamed to himself.

He kept his eye on the moon. _Is this a dream? _he asked it.

"_Al_...?"

This time the voice was much closer than it should have been. Something pulled on his leg.

Al turned.

Ed knelt on the ground. His shoulders shook with the effort it had taken to crawl from the bed to the window. His face was drawn, pale in the moonlight. Too pale. And his eyes were too bright, flashing gold and stubborn as he kept his eyes turned upward and his lips forming Al's name again.

"Brother!" Al said and quickly knelt.Something had twisted inside him at the site of his brother gazing up at him. It made his heart hurt...but he had no heart...not anymore... Al reached out, but Ed pulled away before Al could touch him.

Those eyes suddenly turned downward and Al watched as Ed swollowed, as he closed his eyes. _He's trying to say something_, Al suddenly realized. The other boy, his golden hair disheveled, the bandages as white as his skin, gnashed his teeth, opened his lips, closed them. He gasped something unintelligable, stopped, tried again.

The wind blew then and the window, not having been locked, burst suddenly opened.

Ed watched as it struck Al's back.

At the hollow knell it sounded, Ed's face suddenly crumbled.

Tears sprung to his eyes glowing eerie and sad, speaking more to Al than the words he had tried to gasp.

"Brother..." Al said and reached to him.

Ed tried to fight him off, holding up his hands, turning his head, but Al reached to him anyway, pulled him close and watched as the action only seemed to further upset his brother. Hot breath appeared like mist on the metal plate of Al's chest.

"Brother..." Al said as the older boy suddenly stilled against him. His only movement was the occassional dry sob that drove his shoulders to shake, his breathing to catch.

"Al..." Ed managed, speaking the name like a precious thing. Then, the next moment, he was asleep.

"Brother?" Al whispered, but Ed didn't stir. His chest rose, fell. His breath blossomed on the cold of Al's arm.

For a moment, Al just sat there. The moment went still. It was personal and his, this moment, too private for the world to ever be a part of. He watched his brother whose face was, even in sleep, taunt. Al touched his brother's closed eyes.

"What have we done, Brother?" he whispered.

Ed turned into the touch.

Al stared at him, but his mind was on the moment, not that long ago, when Al, feeling his cells, one by one vanish, a gnawing up his blood vessels, his nerves, into the narrow spaces of his bones, his organs, taking him piece by piece as a price for what should never have been done. His mind was on Equivalent Exchange, but he whispered, "Mother..."

His eyes were lingering on the hand that was now his own, but his mind was on that moment when he had felt the last part of himself unwinding and he had looked up and saw his brother, his eyes so wide, and uncharacteristically terrified and his hand...reaching to Al.

He was staring at his brother's face as some nightmare chased his sleeping mind, but he was hearing his brother's voice saying his name, and seeing him kneeling miserably on the floor, looking smaller than was right for Ed.

These things were on Al's mind, and all he felt was shame.

He stared up at the moon.

"I'm sorry, Brother...I thought..." he whispered and held his brother close for one moment longer, then standing, he returned his brother to his bed. For a moment, he peered into that sleeping face. "Mother is gone. I thought the world had stopped at that instant when she died. But you were there, Brother. And you pulled me back when...when everything went wrong...It was both our faults, Brother and neither. Was it really such a wrong thing...What will happened... Now when everything has changed again...Ed...I wish this was a dream..." Al's voice caught. It was a strange feeling. He knew that he would be crying if he had his body. Somewhere, he felt salty tears running down phantom cheeks, and he turned away from the image, seeing instead the haunted, guilty gaze of his brother's eyes in the moonlight. Leaning down, he pressed his forhead to his brother's, then standing, he made his way to the window and resolutely closed it.

When Ed woke in the morning, that window was locked and Al was saying in such a kind voice that spoke the word "forgiveness" as "Good morning, Brother."

FIN!

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: **_Well...this is my first Fullmetal Fanfic! I LOVE THIS SERIES! AWESOME STUFF! (Oh, and to those to haven't seen the whole series...it just gets better :) Anywhoo. Haven't written in a really long time...If anyone reading this is wondering about "FOX TALE" (anyone...?) I'm still writing it, but it'll be a while...sorry! But! Hope you guys liked this one! Bye-bye for now!_**


End file.
